Always-picked wants to pick for herself anyone out there

(My Original Blog Post: http://ping.fm/xc2bt)
Mid twenties, employed, smart & clean female exhausted by insane and messy roommates over and over and over again looking to rent a room preferably in the West Village, Soho, Tribeca or Chelsea. (NOT in Greenwich Village/on busy streets near NYU)
I'm super quiet, like things to be kept clean & non-cluttered, pay rent on time and although I'm congenial enough and don't mind a drink now and then, would like to be generally left alone when at home.
This is probably too much to ask.
But, if someone exists (male or female, thought I would prefer gay male or gay/straight female) with a room, particularly in the west village, particularly someone SANE (Please, please, please, please, please no one else straight-jacket-worthy, I don't have the patience, I just don't) I would be happy to show up smiling and throw money at you and your utilities and generally amuse and intrigue you.
I would like to pay less than $1,000 but if the situation is beyond fantastic (and that means you as a person also, not just your house, because I've lived in what I would consider the best building in the city with an insane person and it didn't fly) I would be willing to pay up to $1400.
None of this two month's deposit business. One month and one month's deposit if necessary.
Furnished or unfurnished is ok. Cats and dogs are only ok in the case that you take care of them (hygenically speaking, please no more reeking litter boxes and shaggy dogs) and they don't sleep on me, have fleas, bizarre medical problems that require my attention and sensitivity, etc.
No noise, from a bar downstairs or a noisy neighbor or you rotting away in front of the TV. (You know if the bar downstairs is super loud or if the neighbor has an electric guitar habit, please don't "forget" to tell me about it.)

Old Freudians=Yes!
More than 3 Ganesh statues= No.
Shelves full of classics= Yes.
Closets that haven't been addressed since 1992= No!
Foreigners= Fine.
Hardcore lesbians= Fine.
Pot smoking=No.
Cigarette smoking out the window= No problem.
Light-filled spaces= Great.
Unexplained Humidity= No. Ugh.
Roaches= No.
Alcoholics: Fine with me, just don't get nasty!
Restaurant industry worker= MAJOR PLUS!!!

My feet shouldn't stick to your floor. A house should glow and be a home, not buzz under fluorescent lighting and TV glare.

Sigh.